29 August 2012

Access Granted


Through all the seasons that I’ve experienced so far as a teenager, uni student, single girl, through relationships and courtship, marriage, and now as a mum, I’ve learnt how important it is to grant God complete access into every area of my heart because as it says in the Bible, 
"Keep your heart with all diligence because out of it spring the issues of life" Proverbs 4:23.
I remember a few years ago I went through a season in my life where I had a ‘No Access’ sign written across my heart. Up until this point I have lived a very blessed life predominantly free from any great upsets or disappointments. In June of that year we began trying for a baby and were devastated when we were told that at 9 weeks our first baby had no heartbeat and had stopped growing. I then went for my first ever hospital trip to have the baby removed as I wasn’t miscarrying naturally. I felt vulnerable and heartbroken. Through that season I wasn’t angry with God, but rather just really confused because I’d never experienced anything like this before. As a result I began to unknowingly put barriers up around my heart. I went to church and continued to do all the ‘things’ that looked like I was ok, but deep down I felt numb. 

About four months after we lost our baby I was on my early morning walk around the local neighborhood trying to pray when I went past a gate that drew my attention. It was a large wrought iron gate with a padlock on it. I peered through the gate and saw a long driveway which led to a beautiful mansion which was completely covered with overgrown trees, weeds and plants. I remember hearing God so clearly say to me, ‘Amy, this is what your heart is like. It is like this beautiful mansion with many rooms and beautiful things inside, yet you have allowed weeds to grow around your heart,and you have put a big gate across your heart with a lock and chain and said to me ‘stay out’. I cannot show you my love, heal you or walk you through your hurt if you don’t give me access.’

These were the beautiful but firm words I needed and I am so thankful to God for His grace and forgiveness to bring to my attention something which could have caused major damage for my life journey. At that moment I chose to unlock the padlock, open the gate and remove the weeds from around my heart so that I could experience His love and comfort and allow Him to be the incredible healer and counsellor that He desired to be in my life. 

You may not have experienced a miscarriage, but you may have experienced a broken relationship, the loss of a loved one or some other great hurt or disappointment. All of which have the potential to damage your heart if you don’t take that hurt & sorrow to the right place. Give your loving God an "All Access" pass to your heart as He is the only one who can bring the comfort, hope, counsel, wisdom, healing, restoration and love that you need so that you can be free to live the incredible life he has created, designed and purposed for you.

Amy describes herself as 'Wife of super amazing Brett, Mum to ever energetic Zach & socialite Larissa, Servant in God's amazing House, lover of life.' She is also an author, organisational queen and a pastor at Citipointe Church. We're honoured to have her on board!

2 comments:

  1. What a beautiful post! And awesome encouragement =)

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  2. When you first submitted this, Amy. I loved it but I didn't see the relevance to my walk at the moment. Since SWB conference God's revealed so much to me, mostly the areas of my life that i've not let Him into before or for a very long time. You've articulated His love and desire for us so beautifully!

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