At that point it hit me: I've never been that person. I've never loved my life here so much that I've wished it would go forever. I've never wanted this life to be my eternity. Inside of me there's always been a discontent and an unfulfilment with this life.
Of course, C. S. Lewis in all of his eloquence is able to sum my life up perfectly:
If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probably explanation is that we were made for another world.So maybe this struggle to love this life is actually ok. Maybe this longing and discontent deep down inside is in fact a glimpse into a world I don't yet know. Maybe this constant battle against injustice in this world is really a desire for a world which is founded on justice and grace. Maybe the battle that wages inside of me sometimes is my soul crying out for something more. Maybe I've had a glimpse and my longing for what is to come is greater than my comfort or love for this world.
Maybe, just maybe, another world awaits this longing heart and conflicted spirit. A world in which this desire can be satisfied. A world which I was truly made for.